Newlyweds tried to make my flight a hell as revenge – I brought them back to Earth

They say love is in the air, but on my recent flight, it was pure chaos. Hi! I’m Toby, 35, and I have a crazy story that will make you think twice about your next flight. Picture this: I’m on a plane, counting down the minutes until I can hug my wife and son after being abroad for ages. Along comes two newlyweds who think they own everything and turn my flight into a nightmare.

I had spent a fortune on a premium economy seat for this 14-hour trip. Honestly, when you’re facing so many hours in a metal tube, every extra inch of legroom counts.

As I settled in, feeling pretty good about my decision, the guy next to me cleared his throat.

“Hi,” he said, flashing a smile. “I’m Dave. Hey, I hate to ask, but would you mind switching seats with my wife? We just got married and, well… you know.”

I flashed my best congratulatory smile. “That’s great, man. Congratulations. Where’s your wife sitting?”

Dave pointed to the back of the plane, his smile a little hesitant. “My Lia’s in the back there. In economy class.”

I’m not a monster. I get it, newlyweds want to be close. But I’d paid good money for that seat and I wasn’t going to give it up for free.

“Look, Dave,” I said, trying to remain cordial. “I paid extra for this seat because I really need the comfort. But hey, if you want to cover the difference, about a thousand Australian dollars, I’d be happy to swap it.”

Dave’s face darkened. “A thousand dollars? You’ve got to be kidding me.”

I shrugged. “Sorry, mate. That’s the deal. Otherwise, I’m staying where I am.”

When I put my headphones on, I saw Dave’s face. Let’s just say that if looks could kill, I would have died right there.

“You’ll regret it,” he muttered, loud enough for me to hear.

Little did I know that those three words were about to turn my peaceful flight into a war zone at 30,000 feet.

First came the cough. Not the usual coughing. We were talking about lung explosions that made me wonder if I should look into a hazmat suit.

“Are you okay, Dave?” I asked, trying to remain calm.

She gave me a look that could curdle milk. “I’ve never been better,” she wheezed before launching into another attack.

Just as I was thinking about offering him a cough drop (or maybe an entire pharmacy), Dave decided to up the ante. He pulled out his tablet and started blasting an action movie without headphones.

The couple across the hall gave us dirty looks. “Hey, buddy,” he said to Dave. “Would you mind turning it down?”

Dave smiled sweetly. “Sorry, I forgot my headphones. I guess we’ll just have to enjoy it together.”

I gritted my teeth, my knuckles turning white as I gripped the armrest. “Dave, come on. This isn’t right.”

He turned to me, his eyes shining. “I’m sorry. Am I making you uncomfortable? This must be awful.”

Before I could respond, crumbs rained down on my lap. Dave had somehow managed to turn pretzel eating into an Olympic event, spilling more on me than in his mouth.

“Oh,” he said, not trying to hide his mocking smile. “Butterfingers.”

I was about to lose my temper when I heard a giggle in the hallway. There was Lia, Dave’s blushing girlfriend, with a cat face on her back.

“Is this seat taken?” she purred, flopping down onto Dave’s lap.

I’m no prude, but the way they started talking, you’d think they’d forgotten they were on a crowded plane. The giggles, the whispers, the… other sounds. It was like being stuck in a bad romantic comedy, only without the option to change the channel.

I tried to concentrate on my book, my movie, hell, even the security card, anything to block out the lovebirds’ spectacle. But after an hour of their antics, I’d had enough.

“It’s over,” I muttered, waving to a passing flight attendant. “Time to fight fire with fire.”

As the flight attendant approached, Dave and Lia upped the sweetness of their act, all googly eyes and sweet talk.

“Is there a problem, sir?” the flight attendant asked, looking at our row with a mixture of concern and suspicion.

I took a deep breath, ready to tell it all. This was going to be good.

“Problems? Where do I start?” I said, loud enough for nearby passengers to hear. “These two have turned this flight into their personal honeymoon suite.”

The flight attendant raised an eyebrow and her gaze shifted from me to the hugging couple.

I continued, ticking off dots with my fingers. “We’ve had non-stop coughing, a movie blasting with no headphones, a shower of sandwich crumbs, and now…” I pointed to Lia, sitting on Dave’s lap, “this lap dance situation.”

Dave blushed. “We’re newlyweds!” he protested. “We just want to sit together.”

The stewardess’s professional mask faded for a moment, revealing a flash of annoyance. “Sir, madam, I understand that you’re celebrating, but there are rules we must follow.”

Lia batted her eyelashes. “Can’t you make an exception? It’s our special day.”

I couldn’t help but chime in. “It’s been your ‘special day’ for an hour now.”

The flight attendant smoothed her uniform and turned to the two lovebirds. “I’m afraid I can’t. It’s against airline policy for an adult passenger to sit on another’s lap. It’s a safety issue.”

Dave’s smug smile faltered. “But…”

“No buts,” the stewardess interrupted. “And since you didn’t pay for this upgraded seat, but were moved here, you have to strictly follow all the rules.”

I had to bite my lip to keep from smiling. The tables had turned, and boy was it satisfying.

The flight attendant turned to Lia. “Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to return to your original seat.”

Lia’s eyes widened. “You can’t be serious! We’re married.”

“Congratulations,” the flight attendant replied, her tone making it clear that she was done with the conversation. “But marriage does not exempt you from the safety regulations of the plane. Please return to your seat.”

Dave tried to intervene. “Look, we’re sorry if we’ve upset anyone. We’ll shut up now, I promise.”

The flight attendant shook her head. “I’m afraid that’s not enough. Because of your disruptive behavior, you’ll both have to move to the back of the plane, in economy class.”

Dave’s face drained of color. “Both of us? But I paid…”

“You were upgraded as a courtesy,” the stewardess interrupted. “A courtesy that you have abused. Now please gather your things.”

As Dave and Lia reluctantly gathered their belongings, I caught snatches of their whispered discussion.

“This is all your fault,” Lia hissed.

“My fault? You’re the one who…”

“Enough,” the stewardess interrupted. “Please, go to the back of the plane.”

As they shuffled past, red-faced and avoiding eye contact, I couldn’t resist taking a dig at them.

“Enjoy your honeymoon,” I said, wiggling my fingers in a mock greeting gesture.

Dave’s look could have melted steel, but I just smiled and settled back into my now calm seat.

The flight attendant turned to me. “Do you need anything else, sir?”

I smiled, feeling like I had just won the lottery. “Just some peace and quiet. And maybe a celebratory drink?”

As the flight attendant walked away to get my drink, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt. Had I been too harsh? No, I told myself. They had brought it on themselves.

An older gentleman caught my eye and gave me a thumbs-up. “Well played, son,” he laughed. “Reminds me of my first marriage. We were young and dumb, too, but at least we knew how to behave in public.”

I smiled back. “Thanks. I was starting to feel like I was on a hidden camera show.”

The lady next to her leaned over. “Honey, you’ve done us all a favor. I was just about to shove those pretzels down her throat myself.”

We all laughed and the tension from earlier dissipated. It was good to have allies.

The flight attendant returned with my drink, a small bottle of whiskey and a can of cola. “It’s on the house,” she winked. “Consider it a thank you for your patience.”

I raised the bottle in a mock toast. “To peaceful flights and karma,” I said, loud enough for those around me to hear. A chorus of “cheers!” rose from nearby seats.

As I mixed the drink, I couldn’t help but wonder about Dave and Lia. Were they huddled in the back, plotting their revenge? Or had they finally realized how ridiculous they’d been acting?

My thoughts were interrupted by a beep on the intercom.

The captain’s voice filled the cabin. “Ladies and gentlemen, we are expecting turbulence. Please return to your seats and fasten your seatbelts.”

I laughed to myself. More turbulence? After what we had just been through?

The plane started to shake and I heard a howl from the back. I turned in my seat to look. There was Dave, desperately trying to keep his tray from spilling his drink onto his lap.

I turned away, sipping my whiskey and coke. “Karma’s got it!” I muttered.

The turbulence subsided and the flight settled into a peaceful calm. I was just beginning to think about what might happen next when a commotion broke out in the rear.

“I need to go to the bathroom!” It was Lia’s voice, shrill and insistent.

I turned to see her standing in the aisle, with Dave right behind her. A harried-looking flight attendant, different from the one who had helped me earlier, was trying to calm her down.

“Ma’am, please return to your seat. The fasten seat belt sign is still on,” the flight attendant explained.

“But it’s an emergency!” Lia lamented, doing a little dance.

I caught the old man’s attention. He winked at me, clearly enjoying the show.

Dave stepped in, his voice dripping with fake concern. “Look, my wife has an illness. She needs to use the bathroom in the front. The one back here is… occupied.”

The flight attendant looked torn. “I understand, but rules are rules. You’ll have to wait for the captain to turn off the seatbelt sign.”

Lia’s face crumpled. “But I can’t wait! Please, I beg you.”

I had to admit it… she was quite an actress. If I hadn’t known, I would have felt sorry for her.

The assistant sighed, clearly hesitant. “Okay, but make it quick. And then you go straight back to your seat, understood?”

Dave and Lia nodded vigorously and were already pushing her towards the front of the plane. As they approached my row, I couldn’t resist. I stood up, blocking their way.

“Hold on, folks. Didn’t we already sort this out? In the back of the plane, remember?” I said, loud enough for nearby passengers to hear.

Dave’s face darkened. “Mind your own business, buddy. This doesn’t concern you.”

I raised an eyebrow. “I guess so. After all, we wouldn’t want any more… interruptions, would we?”

Lia chimed in, her voice sickly sweet. “Please, sir. It’s just a quick bathroom break. We promise to be right back.”

I looked at her, then at Dave, then at the approaching flight attendant who had let them through. It was time to end this farce.

“You know what? You’re right. It’s just a bathroom break,” I said, stepping aside. “Go ahead.”

Dave and Lia exchanged triumphant glances as they passed me. But I wasn’t done yet. I turned to the flight attendant with a smile.

“Excuse me, I couldn’t help but overhear. Did you say that these two have permission to be up here?”

The flight attendant frowned. “Well… they said it was an emergency.”

I nodded sympathetically. “I see. And do you know that these two were explicitly told to stay in the back of the plane because of their disruptive behavior earlier?”

The flight attendant’s eyes widened. “No, I wasn’t told that.”

At that moment, the flight attendant who had previously taken care of Dave and Lia appeared. “Is there a problem?” she asked, her gaze on the couple.

Dave paled. Lia’s “emergency” dance stopped abruptly.

I stepped back, letting the professionals handle it. “I think these two were just leaving,” I said, unable to keep the petulance from creeping into my voice.

The original flight attendant turned to Dave and Lia, her expression stern. “I thought I made myself clear earlier. Return to your seats. Now.”

“But…” Lia began, her performance falling apart.

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“No buts,” the stewardess interrupted her. “Or would you rather we discuss this with the air marshal?”

That’s it. Without another word, Dave and Lia returned to their economy class seats, defeated.

As the plane began its descent toward California, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of satisfaction. The rest of the flight had been blessedly uneventful, and I was more than ready to see my family.

The captain’s voice came over the intercom: “Ladies and gentlemen, we are beginning final approach to Los Angeles International Airport. Please ensure your seats are upright and seat belts are fastened.”

As we taxied to the gate, I gathered my things, eager to get off the plane. The flight attendant who had saved us approached me.

“Thank you for your patience,” he said with a genuine smile. “We hope you had a comfortable flight despite the… earlier disturbances.”

I smiled back. “Thanks to you, yes. You handled the situation perfectly.”

She smiled at the compliment. “Have a nice day, sir.”

I stood up, stretching after the long flight. As I walked down the aisle, I saw Dave and Lia, who were still avoiding eye contact with everyone.

For a moment, I felt a pang of pity. They were young, probably too excited from their honeymoon. But then I remembered their spoiled behavior and the pity evaporated.

As I passed their line, I couldn’t resist throwing in one last dig. “I hope you learned something today. Enjoy your honeymoon.”

Dave’s face turned a shocking red, but he kept his mouth shut. Good decision.

And with that, I stepped off the plane, feeling victorious and ready to enjoy the rest of the trip. As I entered the terminal, I couldn’t help but laugh. It had been a hellish flight, but common decency and a little karma had won out in the end.

I saw my wife and son waiting for me, and their faces lit up when they saw me. All thoughts of Dave and Lia vanished. I was home and that was all that mattered.

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This work is inspired by real people and events, but has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to real people, living or dead, or real events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.

The author and publisher do not guarantee the accuracy of events or the depiction of characters, and are not responsible for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and the opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.

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